According to my baby book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, at this point in pregnancy I will likely experience an “increasing eagerness for the pregnancy to be over”. Yes. Yes I am. I would like to sleep, eat and walk like a normal human being please. I love this bowling ball attached to my front but I’m also pretty fed up with this bowling ball too. I have both loved being pregnant and disliked being pregnant, felt both hashtag blessed and yet also had an ‘enouuuuuuuugh already’ huff over it too. So here is my list, of the things I won’t miss about being pregnant…
- The constant peeing. I could buy shares in Andrex by now. Don’t get me started on the ‘second wee’ (because your poor bladder is just so squished by chubby baby head at this point)
- Not being able to sleep on my back. In fact, sleeping like a normal person in general would be great now thanks. I’m pretty over feeling like I need a forklift to get me out of bed (or even to turn over)
- Random bouts of breathlessness. Like I’ve run a 100m sprint when the reality is that I’ve just stretched on my tip toes to grab the Crunchy Nut from the cupboard.
- Random bouts of dizziness. With 50% more blood pumping through my body, a sudden move to stand up can make me see stars for a few seconds.
- The constant hunger and the hanger that follows if I don’t feed. I feel like a vampiric cow. Must constantly be munching or unleashing my wrath on the fridge.
- Zero cute wardrobe options. Being heavily pregnant in the dead of winter has been BORING.
- SPD! Having wonky sore hips this pregnancy has meant that a long walk on one day = 2 days of stiff recovery (and walking like a cowboy) Which brings me to…
- The cowboy walk. Also occurs when I’ve sat down for too long, get up and feel so stiff and sore in the hips that I can only manage a bent over waddle.
- Sleep problems. Some days you’re fine, others you’re up peeing every hour, there are the times you just don’t fall asleep or my favourite- suddenly becoming a light sleeper and waking up to the sound of oh, EVERYTHING (even my cat’s snoring has woken me up)
- Food aversions. I still can’t bear pasta. I know that’s weird, its the least offensive food ever.
- Heartburn. Having never had it before, I now get it every. single. night. A deep burning feeling in my chest and throat that only orange flavoured Rennies can cure. And you know what? I’ve run out of orange Rennies.
- CLUMSINESS. Especially at this stage. I’ve dropped my phone more times in one week than I ever have in my phone owning life.
- Absentmindedness. Otherwise called baby brain. I’ll be meaning to do one thing one moment and then completely forget the next- why am I in this room again? what do you mean it’s Wednesday? It’s totally Friday etc etc I once left the laundry in the washing machine all day because I had forgotten that I had put a load on that morning.
- Lightning crotch or what my pregnancy book politely calls ‘lightning pain’. Sharp sudden shooting pains down there that make you shout OWW out loud in public.
Are these the things I’ll forget once baby arrives? Will the post natal fog make me forget that this all happened and I’ll be enveloped in new baby smells to remember how uncomfortable it all was, or will I remember and say yes, yes, yes, 100% all worth it and would do again in a heartbeat? When I describe these things to my mum friends, every single one will chuckle as if to say ‘ohhh yeah, I remember now’
…remind me in a month or so 😉