LIFE

THE SH*T LIST

You know what grinds my gears? (do people still say that? did they ever? I blame Family Guy) Slow walking people make me grit my teeth. As do strangers who walk right next to me, annoyingly matching my pace. That person on the tube who keeps bumping my backpack. The list of gremlins is long and the side eye well used. Londoners are an impatient bunch and I have never been known for my patience. I know it’s meant to be good for the soul to focus on life’s little joys- and I do, often- but sometimes misery loves company! My recent gremlins this week…

My eyebrows are still not on speaking terms with each other *googles microblading*

Every time I do that awkward trot over the pedestrian crossing- even if there are no cars.

Why does my hair only look good thrown into a messy knot when I’m about to have a shower?

Shit wifi. And then hating myself for not being able to stay off my phone for a few minutes.

Being caught in the smoke cloud from the person walking in front of me. Thanks, I’ve just breathed in your lung particles.

The guilt every time I ask the barista for ‘a one pump Soy Hazelnut Latte please’ Am I that person? Does the person behind me hate me? Bothered tbh, hazelnut is good.

MANSPLANATIONS. Especially when they think I’m younger than I am but actually I AM SIX YEARS OLDER THAN YOU GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT YOUR MOTHER.

Speaking of age. Feeling way too old to be browsing certain high street stores. I want to buy a basic white tee, not go to a rave. Why is everything mermaid?!

Did The Frugality buy all the good shit, is that why I can’t find clothes anymore? I JUST WANT HER WARDROBE HELP ME.

The door buzzer at work makes me want to turn my face inside out. As do open plan offices. And office kitchens. STOP COOKING SCRAMBLED EGGS IN YOUR COFFEE MUG. I work with heathens.

And whilst we’re on offices, what’s with the giant protein powder tubs. Why is this in every office kitchen I’ve been in? Are they the new lost tupperware? Do you even lift bro?

Loud eaters.

Dripping rubbish juice onto my bare foot.

Feeling embarrassed when people ask me what my weekend plans are…because to be honest, it mainly involves staring at my new lawn, watering my new lawn, and then admiring said new lawn from the sofa.

…in the new fluffy robe I bought in TK Maxx last week.

What have been your little gremlins recently? Sound off below!

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  • Hahaha this made me chuckle! Great tip about scrambled eggs in a mug though, I might use that one… 😉 Alice xxx

    http://www.woodenwindowsills.co.uk

  • missgetaway

    Haha absolutely loved this post! SO much fun to read through.

    Love, Kerstin
    http://www.missgetaway.com/

  • Cannot STAND 21 year olds mansplaining at me! And bin bag juice is possibly the worst fluid on this planet, I sympathise :((( My s**t list is currently topped by people who insist on having their mundane chats at normal volume in the library right before an exam (argh!) and people who refuse to give up their seats to older people or pregnant women on the Tube. It’s so selfish and I know that when I’m old/pregnant I will have zero qualms about baldly asking for a seat.

    …Man, that felt good! xx

    Tamsin | A Certain Adventure

  • Our door buzzer is a church bell sound – whenever we get new people join they’re always like, is there a church nearby!? Gets me every time. But the clang of another door is the same as the door knocker at my parents’ house which confuses me EVERY TIME!

    • Oooof, our old door buzzer was horrible, I had to stick duct tape over it by the door to stop people from pressing it- it was that really electric, urgent TRIINNNNNNNG and it scared the life out of me every time. It’s replacement was from B&Q (probably) and it’s one of those battery operated ones & much gentler on the ears BUT…our neighbour has it too and apparently every time our doorbell goes off, hers does too!

  • Mandeep Hayre

    So funny!!! I relate to all these things (include the city stuff from every time I visit London)…also if you ever find a normal white tee please let me know i’ve been searching years!!! Oh and black too lol x

  • A Wanderful Life – Simmy

    Hehe, so relatable! I was particularly thinking about the subject of feeling too old for certain shops now. Everything is either a crop top of a granny square (and I have much less choice in Malta!)

  • You’re hair always looks best before a shower or before bed. NEVER when you’re going out…

  • Haha, I can relate to so many things on this – I order a “one shot soy cappuccino” and then feel like a child when the girl behind me orders a “double espresso with a teaspoon of hot water”. I used to work in an open plan office and now work in a separate-offices office and my job satisfaction is at least 50% higher. x

    • ah yes, the espresso orderers- I feel the same way when that happens! I realised the beauty of separate offices when I worked at Battersea Dogs and it was a revelation! I felt so much more productive.

  • Katrin Harrison

    Oh my gosh this entire post speaks to me. You are my spirit blogger.

  • LOL at “Do you even lift, bro?”

    DId i miss the backyard update? Have you posted photos before and after photos already? I only remember seeing pics of the progress.

    Xx
    http://www.TheActiveSpirit.com

    • Hi Disa! No update yet! It’s about 80% done, so it’ll come round soon. Then, I’m thinking a kitchen and bedroom tour!