You know what grinds my gears? (do people still say that? did they ever? I blame Family Guy) Slow walking people make me grit my teeth. As do strangers who walk right next to me, annoyingly matching my pace. That person on the tube who keeps bumping my backpack. The list of gremlins is long and the side eye well used. Londoners are an impatient bunch and I have never been known for my patience. I know it’s meant to be good for the soul to focus on life’s little joys- and I do, often- but sometimes misery loves company! My recent gremlins this week…
My eyebrows are still not on speaking terms with each other *googles microblading*
Every time I do that awkward trot over the pedestrian crossing- even if there are no cars.
Why does my hair only look good thrown into a messy knot when I’m about to have a shower?
Shit wifi. And then hating myself for not being able to stay off my phone for a few minutes.
Being caught in the smoke cloud from the person walking in front of me. Thanks, I’ve just breathed in your lung particles.
The guilt every time I ask the barista for ‘a one pump Soy Hazelnut Latte please’ Am I that person? Does the person behind me hate me? Bothered tbh, hazelnut is good.
MANSPLANATIONS. Especially when they think I’m younger than I am but actually I AM SIX YEARS OLDER THAN YOU GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT YOUR MOTHER.
Speaking of age. Feeling way too old to be browsing certain high street stores. I want to buy a basic white tee, not go to a rave. Why is everything mermaid?!
Did The Frugality buy all the good shit, is that why I can’t find clothes anymore? I JUST WANT HER WARDROBE HELP ME.
The door buzzer at work makes me want to turn my face inside out. As do open plan offices. And office kitchens. STOP COOKING SCRAMBLED EGGS IN YOUR COFFEE MUG. I work with heathens.
And whilst we’re on offices, what’s with the giant protein powder tubs. Why is this in every office kitchen I’ve been in? Are they the new lost tupperware? Do you even lift bro?
Dripping rubbish juice onto my bare foot.
Feeling embarrassed when people ask me what my weekend plans are…because to be honest, it mainly involves staring at my new lawn, watering my new lawn, and then admiring said new lawn from the sofa.
…in the new fluffy robe I bought in TK Maxx last week.
What have been your little gremlins recently? Sound off below!